Stephen Chapman

The second incarnation of my blog

What time is it, Eccles?

I’ve always found the Goon Show a bit silly, but this little sketch proves perfectly how Spike Milligan was a genius…

Bluebottle What time is it Eccles?
Eccles Err, just a minute. I, I’ve got it written down ‘ere on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.
Bluebottle Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?
Eccles Well, umm, if a anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem.
Bluebottle Wait a minute Eccles, my good man…
Eccles What is it fellow?
Bluebottle It’s written on this bit of paper, what is eight o’clock, is written.
Eccles I know that my good fellow. That’s right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o’clock.
Bluebottle Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn’t eight o’clock?
Eccles Ah, den I don’t show it to dem.
Bluebottle Ooohhh…
Eccles [Smacks lips] Yeah.
Bluebottle Well how do you know when it’s eight o’clock?
Eccles I’ve got it written down on a piece of paper!
Bluebottle Oh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.
Eccles Oohhhh.
Bluebottle ‘Ere Eccles?
Eccles Yah.
Bluebottle Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? – ‘Ere. This piece of paper ain’t goin’.
Eccles What? I’ve been sold a forgery!
Bluebottle No wonder it stopped at eight o’clock.
Eccles Oh dear.
Bluebottle You should get one of them things my grandad’s got.
Eccles Oooohhh?
Bluebottle His firm give it to him when he retired.
Eccles Oooohhh.
Bluebottle It’s one of them things what it is that wakes you up at eight o’clock, boils the kettle, and pours a cuppa tea.
Eccles Ohhh yeah! What’s it called? Um.
Bluebottle My granma.
Eccles Ohh… Ohh, ah wait a minute. How does she know when it’s eight o’clock?
Bluebottle She’s got it written down on a piece of paper!

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This entry was posted on September 11, 2015 by in Fun and tagged , , .

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