Stephen Chapman

The second incarnation of my blog

Oldies but goodies

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: “Dave, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go, Dave.”

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering: “Dave… Dave… Dave, you sick bastard. You’re a vet.”

____________

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus.

____________

I lost out on winning the pub quiz by one point.

The tie-break question was, “where do women mostly have curly hair?”

I was completely wrong…. apparently it’s Africa.

____________

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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This entry was posted on February 11, 2014 by in Fun and tagged , , , .

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